Repentance
by u3020128
Summary: A stranger was brought to the peaceful settlement called The Library.
1. Chapter 1

When he was first brought to the Library, he was half dead. He was covered head to toe in dirt, scratches, and burns. A few more hours, noted one of the Medics, and he would have been dinner for some lucky scavengers. Luckily, a few Diggers had spotted him and carried him in. Mac remembered seeing him for the first time. She thought for sure there would be a burial for this man by sunset.

There was a bustle in the MedBay when he arrived. Medics scurried about to keep him alive. Calls for cool water, rags, and other supplies were the only words said. The laser focus of the team always astounded Mac. She asked what she could do to help. She had no medical training. A medic shoved a pan of cool water and a rag in her hand and said to wipe his face down and keep his head and neck cool.

She took station by his head and did her task. It was her first chance to really look at him. He was older, for sure, but only had whispers of gray in his hair. Something about him struck her as familiar. She couldn't place him. Perhaps from before the Collapse? Most people she knew were dead or presumed dead. She couldn't shake that feeling though.

Suddenly, the room went still. Mac looked up at the team. They had frozen and stared at the man on the table. Mac followed their gaze to the man's chest. Tattoos and scars littered it.

A crown across a tree.

Eden.

"It's him," someone whispered, "Joseph Seed."

All the eyes turned to Mac. She felt them on her as she stared at the man whose head she held in her hands. This was a man who had hurt so many. Now his life lay in their hands.

"Mac… It's your call."

It was. She was the Manager, the leader. She took an oath to help those in need. So did everyone here. She could not abandon that.

"We do what we can."


	2. Chapter 2

Before the Collapse, the Library was called the Richbridge Valley Public Library. It was a stately red brick building. The large doors opened to a grand hall that once held parties for the well-to-do. Archways twice as tall as the average man opened into rooms that were filled wall to wall with books. The second story held even more books and some offices. Below the library, the rare books archives.

The first survivors to stumble into the Library were shocked to see it in good condition. Not only had the building itself had withstood the blast and ensuing winter, but many of the books had as well. History, reference, manuals -knowledge the survivors thought were lost- were still there and intact.

So the first survivors set up camp. They used the knowledge found in the books to fortify the building, sow fields, and treat injuries. Over time, they thrived, taking in more survivors. They became known by others in their valley as "The Librarians."

Mac was one of the first survivors to the Library. Before the collapse, she frequented the library after work. She was overjoyed to see the building still standing and the books intact. It was relief after the time in a bunker. She met others there and joined them in their compound. Eventually, Mac -and she wasn't sure how it happened- was being called "the Manager." She was seen as the Library's leader. Mac liked to think it was because she was good at organizing people. Others said it was something about her, her quick thinking and take charge attitude that made them defer to her.

Currently, Mac was debating her decisions as a leader. She had knowingly let a known mad man and killer into their safe haven. Not only that, she was currently _nursing_ _him back to health._ Many people here had fled to Richbridge Valley to escape Joseph Seed before the Collapse. Some lost family members to his lunacy. She could trust the Medics not to speak of this. They kept to Pre-Collapse oaths and laws about privacy. But what of the others? Rumors would surely spread to the others from the Diggers that found him. She feared what would happen if they found out.

Despite this, Mac could feel it in her heart that taking pity on him was right. To let someone die in a ditch in the road while she could help seemed wrong. He was old now, in his sixties. However, he did cause great harm on his time on earth. She remembered seeing news reports of what his cult did and seeing survivors of his cult come into her town. They looked haggard and desperate. She heard whispers of what happened inside the cult walls.

Mac stared at the man who had caused so much pain. He was currently lying in her bed asleep. She deemed her room the safest place for him and also the place she could keep a close eye on him. The Medics were unsure if he would ever wake up. When they were first treating him, his eyes opened but stared unfocused at the room. He had made a few sounds in his sleep, but Mac wasn't hopeful.

A knock at her door startled her. She stood, breaking her gaze from Joseph. She opened the door to find a Medic and a Protector. She eyed the Protector. It was Adam, the lead Protector. He cut an imposing figure, at least ten inches taller than her and broad as a barn. Before the Collapse, he kept bars safe from drunkards. Now, he kept the compound safe from raiders. He stared intensely at Mac as she let the Medic in and she stepped out.

"Is it true, Mac?" he asked. Mac's eyes widen.

"How did you find out?"

"Doesn't matter. Is it true?"

Mac looked down.

"Shit, Mac. Why?"

"I didn't know it was him at first... and I wasn't about to let a man die on my watch without at least trying to help."

"So you're keeping him in your room?"

"Keep it down!" she hissed. "And yes. For now. I don't want anyone to do anything stupid so I figured this was the safest place for him here. Look, I took a vow that I would help anyone who came to this place. He was in need of help, so we gave it. He might not even make it. "

The door behind them opened. Adam and Mac turned to face the medic.

"He's awake."


	3. Chapter 3

Mac wasn't sure if she would call the state Joseph See was in as 'awake'. He's eyes were open, staring at the ceiling. He didn't react when Mac and Adam walked in. He stayed still, flat on Mac's bed. Mac cautiously walked to the side of the bed. For some reason she felt like she was approaching a wild animal that at any moment might spring up and attack.

"He's responding to stimuli," said the Medic. "He opened his eyes when I was checking his pupils. I don't think there is significant brain injury from hyperthermia, but there's only so much we can tell nowadays."

Mac nodded and turned her attention back to Joseph. The silence in the room was unsettling. She could feel Adam move his hand to his weapon.

"Uh, well, Joseph… My name's Mac. They call me the Manager around here… One of my people found you on the road. We don't know what you were doing out there, but we brought you here and treated you."

Joseph continued staring up. Mac looked back at the Medic and Adam. Adam shrugged, but kept his hand on his weapon.

"You're in Richbridge County, at the old public library. You should know that not a lot of people like you-" Adam scoffed behind her- "and I am risking a lot by keeping you here… But I promise I will try to keep you safe while you heal."

Silence settled over the room again. Joseph closed his eyes and let out a deep breath. He seemed to fall back asleep. Mac turned to the Medic.

"I think he heard you," the Medic whispered. "He might come in and out over the next few days. Manager… you know he took some of my family."

Mac sighed. "I know… I know how hard this is for you- to stick to your oath when helping a man who hurt you. We'll… Let's call the Leaders. This is not a decision I should make alone for the Library."

Adam put a hand on her shoulder. "I think that's smart, Mac."

"Thank you, Adam. Can you gather all the Leaders here? They should know first and advise on what to do next."


	4. Chapter 4

Joseph seemed to fall in a deeper sleep after Adam and the Medic left. He's breathing deepened and Mac could see his eyes rolling about. His started mumbling something. Mac wasn't sure what. He was dreaming, and Mac was sure it wasn't pleasant dreams. She reached out and touched his hand. He didn't respond, but his mumbling stopped. The door to the room opened.

First in the room was Adam and Dr. Jas, the Leader of the Medics. She was a strong woman and one of the first people to know about Joseph. She walked over to Mac's side and began checking up on her patient. Before the collapse, she was one of the ER doctors at the local hospital. Thus, Mac put a lot of faith in Jas and her ability to remain calm and steady in dire situations

Behind them was Rob, Leader of the Diggers. He was in charge of crops and livestock. Despite his rough appearance, he was always quick to offer a smile and a listening ear. He was from a long line of farmers, but before the collapse he was in training to be a teacher. Rob naturally helped with the children when not tending the the fields and animals.

Lynette, Leader of the Builders, was the last in the room. She was an engineer looking to build her home in the county when the bombs hit. Fortunately for her and the Library, the friends she was staying with had a bunker. Now, Lynette took charge of everything that related to keeping the library intact- from patching cracks to building additions and homes for everyone there.

Mac could feel the tension in the room as the last two entered. The rumors must have gotten to them- even Rob had a stony face. Their gaze stayed on Joseph- still asleep. Finally, Lynette spoke up.

"Is this what you called us here for?"

Mac sighed and nodded. "Yes. This is the stranger that Rob's men found. It's Joseph Seed. We need to discuss this. But let's go the meeting room."

Mac sat at the head of the conference table. At one point, when they were few in numbers, they had dined here. Joked and laughed, making light of the dire straits the world was in. Now, the room returned to its original purpose. The five met to discuss darker matters, like what they should do about the man across the hall. Mac felt tension in her heart once more as they all sat down at the table. Lynette took up her position with paper and pencil in hand - every meeting the five of them had was to be noted- and looked expectantly at Mac.

"Let me begin by telling you all how we got into this situation. As some of you man know, a man was found in the fields yesterday by a few Diggers. The Diggers rightly brought him to the Medics. I happened to be there checking supplies when he was brought in."

Mac paused for a moment to let Lynette catch up. Without looking, Lynette nodded as she finished the sentence.

"Dr. Jas and her Medics began treatment on him immediately. I helped where I could. After they had begun treatment, we noticed the man's tattoos and recognized him as Joseph seed. In the moment, I decided that we continue treatment and treat him as any other. Now that he seems to be on the path to recovery, we must ask ourselves what steps are next."

Again a pause while Lynette continued scratching.

"Lynette, when you edit the notes, perhaps we should add in a brief summary of Joseph Seed and his history before the Collapse," Adam offered. The others nodded in agreement.

"This is a problem that we've never had before, and hopefully no one will ever have again," Rob said. "I agree that helping him was the right decision in the moment. Although we didn't take the same hippocratic oath Jas' Medics took, we all did vow to help others. Joseph Seed, despite his past, was in need and we helped him. Does anyone doubt Mac's judgement here?"

The other four sat in silence for a moment, then shook their heads no. Mac felt a wave of relief wash over her. It was a comfort to know her advisors and close friends supported her in this decision.

"I am glad I have your support in this decision. But what next?" She asked the four. "We have no precedent to go off of. We've been fortunate all the crime we have had here has been petty and easily resolved and any negative part of peoples pre-Collapse life seems to have faded."

"People still have animosity towards the Seeds, even if some of them are long dead," Adam interjected.

"Rumors are already circulating the compound," Lynette said, not looking up from her paper. "Perhaps putting him in your room was not a wise choice."

Mac opened her mouth to argue but shut her mouth quickly. She had learned long ago to think before she spoke. She took a moment to stop that reactive side of her.

"You're right, Lynette. It was a rash decision to stop the rumors, but perhaps it only spread them further. How do we proceed with our people in mind?"

They all sat a moment in silence. Lynette set her pencil down and looked at all of them.

"Look, I was an outsider to Montana before the Collapse. The East Coast had barely even acknowledged the Eden cult as a threat. From everything I've heard, Joseph Seed was not a kind man… That being said, I have people with some really shit backgrounds in my crew. You know that I won't name who, but one of my guys was a white supremacist and has admitted to me that he took part in some awful things. Now, he works and is friends with anyone regardless of skin color, background, or anything. He regrets everything he did pre-Collapse. He said seeing that bomb hit and the suffering that followed changed his view on life. Took a goddamn nuclear bomb but he is a good person now."

"What are you suggesting Lynette?" Adam said. Mac could tell he was annoyed by what Lynette was saying.

"Maybe, just maybe, Seed changed when the bomb hit. We can't tell what he's like right now. We should wait to pass judgement on him, and ask our people to do the same."

"I have to agree with Lynette," Rob said. "We have taken in people with some awful backgrounds, and never once have we batted an eye. They all have changed. They all have seen suffering to a degree we never seen before the bombs. Everyone here has realized the need and comfort of helping each other."

"It's cus you two never saw what he did to people. He brainwashed them into his cult. Told them to murder and pillage. To turn in their family members. Dr. Jas, you saw what happened when people said no to the Seeds."

Mac had never seen Adam this upset. He was usually stoic, but his jaw clenched and color was rising into his face. She knew he had lost some family to the Seeds, but never told her the details. Dr. Jas clasped her hands together and leaned forward on the table. "I did. It was troubling. From what I heard from Hope County, it was nothing like what they saw. Despite that… I agree with Lynette and Rob. We have all changed since the bombs."

Mac stood and put a hand on Adam's shoulder.

"Right now," she said softly, "He is not fit for a trial… or any kind of judgement. When he recovers -IF he recovers- we can decide what judgement should be. I know he hurt you, but you cannot let that cloud your decision here."

Adam relaxed under her touch. He bowed his head in recognition. She patted his shoulder before looking up at the others.

"Next, should we decide what we tell our people."

"The truth," Rob, Jas, and Lynette sounded off almost immediately. Mac nodded and looked at Adam. He nodded silently, still looking upset.

"Agreed. We'll let them know of our decision- and why. After dinner tonight, we'll gather all the adults. We must be open with everyone. It's what we've always done."


	5. Chapter 5

Mac lingered as Lynette, Rob, and Jas left the room. She grabbed Adam by the arm as he got up to leave and stopped him. She closed the door behind the others and turned to him. He was still flushed and tension ran through his body. She hadn't noticed it before when he had first come to see him. But perhaps she was too focused on her own anxiety about her decisions to notice his reaction. He stood, looking down, like a child trying not to cry. Her heart broke and she slid her arms around his waist. No one knew about this side of their relationship (or at least pretended not to).

"Love I am sorry," she whispered into his chest. "I didn't realize how much this affected you."

For a moment, he didn't react and Mac felt her heart leap into her throat. Then he put his arms around her shoulders. They stood like that for a moment before Adam pulled away.

"I never told you what he and his cult did to me," he said quietly. He still wouldn't look her in the eye.

"No you didn't. I… I didn't want to open old wounds."

"Well, they're fucking open now. And salt's being poured directly in them."

The venom in Adam's voice stung Mac. She pulled away and wrapped her arms around herself instinctively. She had hurt Adam, and that hurt her. They sat in an uncomfortable silence for a few minutes. Mac tried to gather her thoughts. If she lost Adam's faith in her as the Manager, it would strike a devastating blow to the peace of the Library. Not only would she lose him as an advisor, but as her closest friend. She chose her words carefully and spoke clearly and softly.

"I am sorry that my decision opened these wounds for you. When it happened, I never thought about how it would affect you. You, and the others, should have been one of the first people I told. But instead I kept it a secret for far too long and that hurt you. I am sorry. I don't know how or if I can fix this, but I want to."

Adam didn't respond immediately. He seemed lost in thought and emotion. It was unnerving to Mac to see him in such a state. Finally, his shoulders dropped and he sighed. He ran a hand through his hair.

"I don't know how we can make this better either, Mac. I never told you how that fucking cult hurt my family. Lana-" Adam's voice cracked with emotion- "My sister was killed by those nutjobs a few years before the collapse. It's why I moved to Richbridge. Too keep an eye on those crazies."

Mac felt her stomach drop. Adam had never really talked about his older sister, Lana. He mentioned her briefly. Mac knew Lana had died because of the cult a few years before the Collapse. She had found an obituary for her when looking for something in one of Adam's drawers. He didn't know she had seen it.

"I know you might not be ready to talk about it, Adam. You may never be, but when you are… I'm here." Mac grabbed his hand and kissed his knuckles. He pulled her in for a hug.

"I'm glad I have you, " he whispered. "I'm not ready to talk now. It hurts too much. But… I'm beginning to think what you and the others said is right. It's not fair to judge him now. It doesn't make it any easier. I just hope I had the worst reaction."


	6. Chapter 6

**Non nobis solum, sed omnibus.**

**Not for us, but for everyone.**

The motto to the Library was painted in white above the entrance to the compound in bold white letters. The entrance remained open throughout the day, and while closed at night, would open when asked. Everyone who passed peacefully through the gate would be helped, regardless of who they were. It's how the little Library compound grew to have over 100 people in it. Mac prayed that everyone would remember this the meeting time grew near.

The Dining Hall, built only just a few short years ago, was rearranged into its secondary purpose as Meeting Hall. Mac helped move the tables and chairs as a way to calm her nerves. The long tables and benches were turned to face the stage. Chairs were placed on the stage for the individual Leaders and Mac. Soon, everyone filed in and took seats, chattering amongst themselves. As Mac rose from her seat, the room quieted. It always amazed Mac that she held that kind of power as she cleared her throat to speak.

"Good evening everyone. I am glad you took time today to come to this meeting. I know many of you are tired and many more of you are curious as the reason to this meeting. Before this meeting, I want to stress to you all remain quiet until I am finished speaking. I want to you hear everything I have to say tonight.

"We gathered you here to discuss the rumors about events that took place yesterday. As some of you may know, a stranger was found on our fields by Diggers and brought to the MedBay. I was there when this stranger was taken in and I want to stress that these decisions were my own.

"This man was in critical condition when he was brought in. The Medics worked quickly to save him. It was during treatment we realized who he was. He was, and is, Joseph Seed."

A murmur rose up throughout the crowd. Mac raised her hand to silence them.

"I had options, and trust me, I thought about them, in that room. I know what he had done before the Collapse. I know what he had done to you and your families. But, I could not refuse a dying man treatment that might save him. I cannot, and will not, have that kind of blood on my hands. Dr. Jas and her Medics acted in according to their oaths. They would not willingly do harm to their patients, and Joseph Seed was one of their patients. They have acted more compassion and neutrality than I could have ever thought possible.

"What happened next I will admit was my mistake. Instead of immediately telling our Leaders and our community what had happened, I kept it a secret. I was afraid of the reaction everyone would have. In the moment, I would have said it was for his safety -which in part it was. Mostly, I was afraid of your reaction. I can only hope you understand why I made these decisions.

"Now, we must ask ourselves, how do we move forward from this. I met with the Leaders earlier today. We agreed amongst ourselves that it was best to let Joseph Seed heal before we passed any judgement on him. A lot has happened since we last heard from him, and many things have changed. We know, however, that we need your support in this before we continue. I thank you for your time and understanding."

Silence remained over the crowd as Mac returned to her seat. She got reassuring nods from her Leaders. Normally, Mac loved speaking in front of a crowd, but this time she felt drained as she sat down. The quiet of the crowd was deafening as everyone was thinking. Rob reached over and patted her shoulder in reassurance.

"We should kill him," a voice from the back of the crowd said. "Would save us a lot of time and resources."

Part of the hall cheered.

_Well shit,_ thought Mac. Not exactly the first opinion she hoped they would hear. The volume of the crowd rose quickly as people argued. The floodgates had opened. Lynette and Adam stood as they tried to gain control back over the crowd. People began to stand and get red in the face shouting. Mac hung her head for a moment before a clear voice rang out above it all.

"WELL HOLD ON JUST A MINUTE!"

Everyone turned to the speaker. It was a Builder named Jeb. He was a tall scrawny man and the best mechanic they had. He was normally a soft spoken man who rarely offered more than a "Yes, ma'am" or "No, ma'am" everytime Mac had spoke to him.

"I know we all hate Joseph Seed on some level. Even us who had only just heard of him 'fore the bombs. But I think we're forgettin' why we're all here in the first place. _Non nobis solum, sed omnibus_."

A murmur went through the crowd in acknowledgement.

"Look, I never was the scholarly type. Barely got out of 8th grade before I quit school to work in my daddy's shop. Thought all I needed to know I would get from the Klan."

Another murmur, this time of shock, went through the crowd. No one suspected him of ever being a supremacist.

"But when I came here, I learned a whole lot. First what that fancy latin phrase was. It means that it's not just about you. I learned I was selfish for a real long time. Yeah, he hurt some of you bad. Took family members and the like. Well I did shit like that too. I did some really awful things to you too, whether or not you realized it. But y'all have shown me amazing kindness. I hope I have given back as much as I can. Because what we have is not for us, but for everyone. Doesn't, and shouldn't, matter who they were."

The crowd looked at Jeb in amazement. Lynette walked up Jeb and hugged him. Again, a quiet murmur rose through the crowd. This time, Mac could see people nodding, some others folding their arms in resignation. She stood and faced the crowd again.

"_Non nobis solum, sed omnibus,_" Mac said. "We agree then, that Joseph Seed should be allowed to heal?"

"Yes," replied the crowd.

"Thank you. Now, before we end this meeting, does the crowd want to raise any more issues?"

Silence.

"Then I adjourn this meeting. As always, come to me or your leaders with any concerns that arise after this meeting. Thank you again."

Back in her room, Mac collapsed into her chair with a heavy sigh. Joseph Seed was still asleep in in her bed. Adam leaned up against the door, arms folded. They sat there in silence, with the candlelight casting long shadows across the walls. Mac almost fell asleep in her chair before Adam spoke.

"It could have gone worse."

MAc nodded. "It sure could have, but I'm concerned about his safety. Some of the things people said concerned me. I know he strikes a nerve with people but _geez_ some of that was violent."

"I know, that's why I have my best on rotation now."

Mac looked up surprised. With Adam's history with the Seeds, she thought she would have to beg him to have a guard. Instead, he did it without asking. There was a quick rap on the door- in a pattern she knew that meant a Protector. She stood up and hugged him.

"Thank you, love."

He hugged her back and kissed her head. She could feel him still staring at Joseph.

"Where did you sleep last night?" he asked into her hair.

"My chair," she murmured into his chest. "Wasn't great."

He laughed. "Come with me, tonight. No one needs to know. And tomorrow's my day off."


End file.
